Red Flag is now available! Been waiting for this.
The Poop Smith
I have never been a prouder father than yesterday when my firstborn son pooped in the toilet.
Mom: Time for bath!
Son: Poop!
Mom: Time to get in the bathtub, son.
Son: Peepee!
Mom: Okay, here sit on the toilet
Son: Mama get out!
...2 minutes later Mom opens the door...
Mom: Are you done yet?
Son: Mama get out!
...3 minutes later Mom opens the door...
Mom: Are you done yet?
Son: Mama get out!
...5 minutes later Mom opens the door...
Mom: Are you done yet?
Son: All done (twists hands)!
And that’s when I saw the most beautiful turd I’ve ever seen, sitting in a glistening puddle of piss.
One loc'ed out G going crazy.
Get it at Parabolis.com
Imgur cleaned out my garage in one day #parabolis #imgur #thanksimgurers #sustainablecareerasaselfpublishedwriter
He wanted to wear his hard hat while reading the book about construction workers.
Groove is in the heart
Stay-at-home dad, Day 130
(0745) A 6-day hunger strike ends at breakfast, without fanfare. Little do I know that the child is putting in motion a sleep strike that will start in 2 days.
(0900) The child now knows how to nod his head “Yes”. This conversation follows:
"Do you want some cheerios?"
=> Nods yes
"Do you miss mommy?"
=> Nods yes
"Do you want to go to Simon's house?"
=> Nods yes
"Do you want to eat poop?"
=> Nods yes
(1615) I’m teaching the child to blow dandelions. Whenever I say the word “dandelion”, he says “ROAR”. Also, he gets frustrated with blowing the dandelions and ends up putting them in his mouth.
